Dating Worksheet

Featured Image: “A Good Breakup” by Gianna Meola

Please complete in a timely manner and bring your paper up to the teacher’s desk when you’re finished. Thank you.


1. When you first met your now ex-boyfriend, you knew right away you would end up dating. How did you predict it would end? How is that different from how it actually ended? Compare and contrast.

2. Obvious red flags presented themselves at several points in the relationship. Why did you choose to ignore them?

3. Even though you had just broken up and told him you didn’t think you should speak for a while, was it wrong to be mad when he didn’t wish you a happy birthday?

4. Once the break-up was finalized, how many seconds did it take for your mind to drift to men you’ve wanted to sleep with for the past year but hadn’t pursued? Of those men, how many do you work with?

5. You’re out with coworkers for Jim’s birthday and have made it clear that you plan on going home with him, even though you don’t like him that much. Later in the evening, however, you connect on a sexual level with Rob, a friend and overall good person. Will you pursue Rob or go home with Jim anyway and then blame the patriarchy for your misguided behavior? Explain.

6. How long after you met that one guy at work did you know you would use his friendship as a tool to satisfy your subconscious craving for emotional validation and affection you were lacking in your relationship but not realize it until months later when you got drunk and made out at a party?

7. Andre comes back from out of town on the 18th, but Jake just told you he took off of work to visit you over Labor Day weekend. How many days will you get to spend with Andre until you start feeling guilty about secretly texting another guy and eventually ghost both of them because you can’t handle your perceived pressure of the situation for one more fucking second?

8. If you get blackout drunk at 8 p.m. and text your ex’s lesbian roommate at 10 p.m., how many unanswered messages later does it take for you to realize that you may have misread her energy in the kitchen that one time? 

9. When you receive your sister’s wedding invitation addressed to you and your ex, do you wait to cry until you get inside your apartment or do it right there at the mailbox? When you’re too emotionally fragile to even have time to make the choice, what do you say to your neighbor when they bring it up the next day? 

10. Will you call your ex tonight using the excuse that you just want to give him his sweater back and then get upset when it doesn’t sound like he’s having a hard time without you? Why or why not? 

Cocktails for a Newly Single Woman!

Image: “Still Life” by Noelle Campbell

Hosting after a breakup? These are the recipes you’ve been looking for.

The Break-Up

     4 parts vodka

     1 part orange juice

     Orange bitters


     1 more part vodka because fuck it, whatever 

Telling Mom

     2 parts gin

     1 part lemon juice 

     1 part “Would it kill you to put on a pair of heels once in a while? Jesus.”

Getting Back on the Horse

    2 parts off-brand corner store ginger ale

    1 part Tanqueray (Note: Continue to take big, intermittent swigs from the bottle while anxiously applying makeup in the kitchen.)

Finance Fuckboy

     1 shot bottom-shelf tequila

     1 can Tecate

     Light blue button-up carelessly mashed into the ill-fitting waistband of a pair of Brooks Brothers khakis

     Garnish with vagueness about intentions

Drunk Text

     5 shots of Fireball

     Water from the bar’s bathroom sink

     Water from the guy who held you hair back at the bar’s bathroom sink

Dark N’ Stormy

     2 parts rum

     3 parts ginger beer

     Wedge of lime

     Rainwater because you’re literally sitting outside in a storm. What are you doing? Go inside.

No Closure

    6 oz whiskey

    2 oz tonic

    Twist of lemon so your drink will look fancy and maybe he’ll think you’re doing okay

    Twist of knife optional